“Fix-Its” are another type of behavior that your child may engage in when they are feeling anxious. In addition to avoidance, your child may perform certain behaviors or actions over and over again in order to calm down their anxiety and prevent feared outcomes from happening. We call these behaviors Fix-Its because they do not get to the root of what is causing your child’s fears or solve any problems in the long run.
Watch the video below to learn more about Fix-Its:
Like avoidance, quick fixes may temporarily relieve anxiety, but they will not help your child face their fears, so they are not a good long-term solution. When someone faces a feared situation and uses quick fixes to deal with their anxiety, they may feel like the quick fix is the main reason for their success or safety in the situation, or the only reason they made it out okay. In this way, these behaviors prevent them from learning about their fears or developing confidence. The more your child uses quick fixes, the more they will depend on these behaviors to alleviate their anxiety or slow down their worries. As you may have guessed, quick fixes can also lead to a cycle that keeps anxiety going.
Take a look at the Quick Fixes Cycle. As you can see, the quick fix cycle looks almost exactly like the avoidance cycle!
Then, take a look at this list of common quick fixes to get more familiar with them:
Quick Fixes vs. Helpful Coping Tools
It's important to note that it’s not always appropriate for children to learn how to manage their anxiety without allowing them to lean on certain items or behaviors for support. Many kids and teens may experience anxiety related to certain situations that can be overwhelming, uncomfortable, or even painful for them.
For example, Neil is afraid of ordering his own food at the hot dog stand and refuses to approach the vendor at all. Neil is scared that he might mess up when he’s placing his order, the vendor might not understand him, or they might make fun of him. Certain items and behaviors can be helpful for kids and teens to face their fears. In Neil’s case, he writes out his order before going up to the counter, and his mom gives him a high five to encourage him. By doing that, Neil realizes that it’s not so scary to order his own food. Maybe eventually, he will even be able to face some of these situations without his notes or his mom.
In this example, Neil uses his notes as a coping skill, and not as a quick fix, because they help him approach his fears. Sometimes these coping skills are one step towards overcoming these fears. You will learn more about coping tools in a later module, but today, let’s focus on how to determine if something is an unhelpful quick fix or a helpful tool!
The best way to figure out if something is a quick fix or not is to determine whether it is helping your child accomplish their goals and approach their fears. If it helps them face their fears and if they are flexible in how much they use the item or engage in the behavior, it is likely a helpful tool, and not a quick fix. But if it does not help them reach their goals, or if they feel like they must use the item or engage in the behavior, it is probably a quick fix. Here is a diagram to help you determine whether something is a quick fix, or a helpful tool:
The most important thing to remember is that if the behavior is helping your child accomplish their goals, such as going to school, meeting friends, or participating in other important activities, the behavior is probably a helpful coping tool. If the behavior is restricting your child’s life or causing more stress in your family, it is likely a quick fix.
Identifying Avoidance and Quick Fixes
It can sometimes be difficult to identify your child’s avoidance behaviors and quick fixes. In some cases, your child or teen may be skilled at masking their discomfort or hiding their attempts to avoid a feared situation. In other cases, avoidance behaviors and quick fixes can be extremely obvious, especially if they are heavily disrupting you or your child’s lives.
Look back at the Fears and Worries checklist you and your child filled out in Module 1. For each fear that is checked off, ask yourself if you have seen your child avoid things or situations due to that fear. Then, ask yourself if your child uses any quick fixes to manage any of the fears on the list. After this, go over the checklist with your child and ask them what they think. For example, if your list indicates that your child is afraid of interacting with peers, you could ask them, “How do you usually act or behave when you are feeling worried or afraid of interacting with peers? Do you think there’s things that you avoid due to this fear?”.
We have two worksheets that may help your child recognize how they behave when they are anxious. There’s one for avoidance behaviors, and one for quick fixes. You may help your child fill out these worksheets or they can complete them on their own. Either way, it is a good idea to review these worksheets with your child to see what anxiety behaviors they can come up with.
Let's Learn About OCD
Before we move on, we have one more anxiety cycle to talk about- The OCD Cycle.
Note: Every kid or teen in this program will most likely have anxiety. But not all of them will have OCD. The information here will only be needed by a few of you!
