Now, let’s take a deeper dive into anxiety. As we touched on last week, it is not always a bad thing to be feeling anxious, and there is a reason why everyone gets anxious sometimes. Anxiety can communicate helpful information to us in times when we are really in danger or when we need to prepare for something. But feeling too much anxiety or feeling anxiety at inappropriate times can become a problem.
Anxiety can also show up in different ways. Sometimes, it can be easy to tell when your child is feeling anxious- they may become tense, shaky, or appear uncomfortable. Other times, it may not be as obvious. Your teen or child may find it difficult to determine when they are feeling anxious themselves. Watch this video to learn about the CBT triangle and the three aspects of anxiety.
Sometimes, it can be easy to tell when we are feeling anxious – we may feel tense or become so anxious that we end up crying. Other times, it can be hard to tell when we are worried or scared. There are three parts of an emotion: how our bodies feel, what we think, and how we act. Here are some ways to tell whether you are feeling anxious: Our body can signal to us when we are feeling anxious. Watch out for some of the following physical signs of anxiety: blushing, shaking, fidgeting, heart beating fast, tense muscles, sweating, feeling hard to breathe, choking feeling, stomachache, and feeling too hot or too cold.
The types of thoughts we have can lead us to feel anxious. Usually, anxious thoughts are very uncomfortable and/or scary. They are usually about expecting something bad to happen. For example, Sophia thinks that, if she joins in a conversation with a big group, everyone will judge her. George thinks that, if he does not wash his hands immediately after touching any shared items, he will get very sick. These are thoughts that may or may not be true, but experiencing these thoughts causes George and Sophia anxiety.
Anxiety also shows up in the ways we act. Usually, we avoid things we are afraid of. When we are in an anxious situation, we might look for ways to get out of it or avoid it. For example, when Sophia is invited to her friend’s birthday party, she chooses not to go and stays at home to avoid interacting with people she doesn’t know well. George avoids playing his favorite video game at his friend’s house because he is afraid of all the possible germs that could be on the controller. Sophia and George, like many of us, tend to avoid things that make them anxious. However, avoiding these situations will not help you overcome and manage your anxiety. Coming up, you will learn why it is unhelpful to avoid your fears and how to face them head on!
To summarize, there are 3 parts to an emotion:
- 1. how your body physically feels, such as uncomfortable feelings in your stomach or getting sweaty and shaky
- What you think, for instance expecting something bad to happen
- How you act. You might avoid or run away from things and situations
By paying attention to these 3 things, we can tell when we are feeling anxious.
As you just learned, our body and our thoughts can signal to us when we are feeling anxious. Anxiety also shows up in the ways that we act. Your child may avoid things that they are afraid of or use “quick fixes” to make their anxiety go away in the short-term. We will talk more about avoidance and quick fixes next week. But first, let’s take a minute to identify the things that make your child anxious and measure the amount of anxiety they experience.