You have just learned a ton about social skills and relationships. Now, you are going to practice these skills. Rehearsing social interactions with your parent may help you prepare for the real thing. This could feel awkward or uncomfortable, but it may help you out a lot. Watch this video to see how George and Sophia are facing their social anxiety:
Interacting with one another is a key aspect of life. We often talk to people every day, whether it’s our parents, teachers, or friends. Many people enjoy interacting with others, while others who are shy may find it to be a bit of a challenge. It’s completely normal to feel nervous sometimes when you interact with someone, especially if you don’t know that person very well.
However, some people experience extreme anxiety and discomfort during social interactions. They may have a fear of embarrassment or saying the wrong thing. This is known as social anxiety. It is quite common in autistic people.
Individuals with social anxiety may choose to isolate themselves from others to avoid encountering feelings of anxiety. This can cause them to stay home from work, school, or other major events, and often leads to feelings of loneliness. Social anxiety can be hard, but there are ways to work toward becoming more comfortable in social situations. Over time, you can learn to gradually face your fears.
Sophia is really nervous around big groups of people because she’s afraid everyone will judge her. She also finds it hard to know when to speak in a group or what she should talk about. Sophia was invited to her friend's birthday party. Although it felt more comfortable for Sophia to ignore her friend’s birthday invitation, she pushed herself to reply. When she gets to the party, she joins a smaller group and laughs along with jokes. Even though it was hard for her, she tried to apply social skills that she thought were helpful like trying to make eye contact to show she is interested and asking follow-up questions. Sophia realizes that talking with a group of people is not as scary as she first thought, and nothing bad happened. She feels a little bit better about hanging out with a group next time.
George is struggling in his geometry class at school. He wants to ask for help but thinks his teacher will think he’s dumb. George’s mom encourages him to ask his teacher for help on the homework. They practice asking for help together. The next day, George goes to class to ask his geometry teacher for help. She is nice and very supportive, and he felt better about the homework.
With practice, you can also gradually take steps to become more comfortable in social situations!
Rehearsing Your Social Skills
Now, use the Practice Your Social Skills worksheet (or read the information in the dropdown below), pick a social skill to work on, and plan out how you will practice this skill.
Step 1: Pick a social skill to practice. Think of a social skill you would benefit from working on. Look back at the skills we described earlier in the Social Skills section of Module 8 and pick one to start with. Here is a summary of the skills we have gone over:
Body Language
- Making eye contact
- Using appropriate facial expressions
Friendship Skills
- Offering help or giving to others
- Invitations
- Asking to join in
- Giving compliments
- Showing empathy
Assertiveness Skills
- Asking for help
- Standing up for yourself
- Saying no
- Dealing with teasing or bullying
Conversation Skills
- Starting conversations
- Holding conversations
- Topics of conversation
Step 2: Find a time and place to practice: Figure out when and where you would like to test out this skill with your friends or peers.
Step 3: Will you earn points or motivation boosters: If you feel really anxious or unmotivated, it may be helpful for you to earn points or a motivation booster for practicing your skill.
Step 4: Rehearse with your parent: Before you test out your skill in real social situation, role-play the skill with your parent. Play the part of your friend or peer first, while your parent plays the role of you. Then, switch roles and play yourself.
Step 5: Test out your skill: Now it’s time to test out your skill in a real social situation. This situation could involve a friend, a peer, or more than one person depending on which skill you are practicing.
Step 6: Reflect on the interaction: After testing out your skill, reflect on how it went and update your parent.
You could also turn your social skill practice into an entire plan of action. Use the My Plan of Action worksheet to create a new plan of action while also looking back at Module 4.
Here are some points to keep in mind as you practice your social skills:
- Keep yourself safe: Sometimes you feel nervous around people for a reason. If someone has been rude to you in the past or makes you feel bad about yourself, they may not be the best person to socialize with. You are already being brave by trying, so don’t add extra challenges to your exposure activities.
- Bring a friend with you: When fighting your own social anxiety, it can help to go into “battle” with an ally, or a friend that you are already comfortable with. You might come up with a signal to let them know you are uncomfortable that only the two of you know.
- Don’t compare yourself to others: Autistic people may socialize a little differently than “normal” people, but that doesn’t mean you’re wrong. You can be true to who you are and still move forward to conquer your anxiety. If you compare yourself to anyone, compare yourself to who you were before you took such a brave step to beat your anxiety.
- Celebrate every victory: Every time you complete an exposure, you are doing something amazing, and you deserve to celebrate yourself. You can talk about what you want to do better, but always remember what you did great first. The whole reason for these exposures is so you can be happier in social situations.