Now that you understand why we use mission plans to help children overcome their anxiety, it is time for you to learn how to make mission plans that are tailored to your child’s specific needs.
Step 1: Create a list of fears and worries
Before developing a mission plan, you will need to decide which one of your child’s fears or worries you would like to work on first. A couple of weeks back, you filled out a checklist of fears and worries and created some goals for the program. Let’s return to these and dig a little deeper to figure out what you should work on first.
Look at your Fears and Worries Checklist and consider how your life and your child’s life are impacted by each fear. For example, some children are so afraid of interacting with others that they refuse to go to school or avoid activities that they would likely enjoy. Additionally, some caregivers may find themselves sleeping in their child’s room every night or constantly having to answer repetitive questions due to their child’s fear.
Take some time and review your Fears and Worries Checklist and transfer your answers to the new List of Fears and Worries Worksheet below. Feel free to add, remove or edit anything after thinking about the ways each fear impacts your child and/or your family. You will notice that there are two new columns attached to the checklist. These are for you to rate how much of problem a fear is and add notes specific to your child for each fear you check. These ratings will help you rank the fears in order, from most to least problematic. See the examples for Neil and Sally and then complete your own form
Download a PDF version.
| Specific Fears | How much of a problem is this situation/fear? (0-10) | Notes specific to your child |
|---|---|---|
| Dark | 7 | Won't go in room ahead of anyone else if light is off in room; hall light has to be on and door open when in bed |
| Insect(s) | ||
| Animal(s) | ||
| Medical providers or situations | ||
| Water | ||
| Weather changes | ||
| Loud noises | ||
| Items that make loud noises | ||
| Monsters, aliens, the supernatural, etc. | ||
| Heights | ||
| Escalators/elevators | ||
| Germs | ||
| Throwing up or getting sick | ||
| Other: Vegetables | 4 | Won't eat them (could be a texture thing?). Doesn't like the grocery store and protests going in. Refuses to go near the produce section. Won't eat anything on the plate if there are vegetables (even if they aren't touching). Won't sit at the same table as the rest of the family if we are eating vegetables. |
| Generalized Worries | How much of a problem is this situation/fear? (0-10) | Notes specific to your child |
| Worries about getting in trouble | ||
| Worries about performance | ||
| Anxious about assignments or tests | ||
| Gets upset and/or starts over when something they are doing is not perfect | ||
| Asks a lot of questions | 6 | Leading up to events or new activities (wants to know all of the details), very repetitive - keeps asking even after I have told him the answers. |
| Complains of physical symptoms (e.g., headaches, stomachaches, sleep problems) | ||
| Worries about the future (moving, change, money, being okay, changing schools) | 6 | Change - always has to know what's coming, will get upset when plans/routines change (e.g., going a different way home from school) |
| Other: | ||
| Separation Fears | How much of a problem is this situation/fear? (0-10) | Notes specific to your child |
| Scared of being separated from caregivers | 9 | |
| Worries about something bad happening to caregivers | 8 | |
| Worries about getting lost | 7 | Always stays in my sight when in public and prefers to be touching me |
| Scared of sleeping away from caregivers or home | 9 | I have to be in his room when he is falling asleep |
| Follows caregivers around | 8 | Used to do this at home, but not anymore (unless he suspects we are getting ready to leave the house) |
| Complains of physical symptoms when required to separate from caregivers | ||
| Gets upset/tantrums when required to separate from caregivers | 8 | Cries, hugs/pulls on us, tries to convince us to stay |
| Other |
Download a PDF version.
| Specific Fears | How much of a problem is this situation/fear? (0-10) | Notes specific to your child |
|---|---|---|
| Dark | ||
| Insect(s) | ||
| Animal(s) | ||
| Medical providers or situations | ||
| Water | ||
| Weather changes | ||
| Loud noises | ||
| Items that make loud noises | 8 | Automatic toilets and hand dryers in public restrooms |
| Monsters, aliens, the supernatural, etc. | ||
| Heights | ||
| Escalators/elevators | ||
| Germs | 8 | |
| Throwing up or getting sick | ||
| Other: Public restrooms | 8 | Refuses to use most, insists on going home |
| Social Fears | How much of a problem is this situation/fear? (0-10) | Notes specific to your child |
| Thinks others will think badly of them | 9 | |
| Scared of answering or asking questions in class | 9 | |
| Avoids standing out or being the center of attention | 9 | |
| Worries that others will laugh at them | 9 | |
| Avoids interacting with peers | 8 | |
| Avoids speaking to others | 9 | |
| Other: | ||
| Generalized Worries | How much of a problem is this situation/fear? (0-10) | Notes specific to your child |
| Worries about getting in trouble | ||
| Worries about performance | ||
| Anxious about assignments or tests | ||
| Gets upset and/or starts over when something they are doing is not perfect | ||
| Asks a lot of questions | ||
| Complains of physical symptoms (e.g., headaches, stomachaches, sleep problems) | 7 | Mostly in the morning before school - stays in restroom for a long time and sometimes leads to her getting to stay home |
| Worries about the future (moving, change, money, being okay, changing schools) | ||
| Other |
Now that you’ve had a chance to review some examples, consider your child’s fears and fill out the List of Fears Worries worksheet below. You can either print out the worksheet or fill it out electronically.
Download a PDF version.
| Specific Fears | How much of a problem is this situation/fear? (0-10) | Notes specific to your child |
|---|---|---|
| Dark | ||
| Insect(s) | ||
| Animal(s) | ||
| Medical providers or situations | ||
| Water | ||
| Weather changes | ||
| Loud noises | ||
| Items that make loud noises | ||
| Monsters, aliens, the supernatural, etc. | ||
| Heights | ||
| Escalators/elevators | ||
| Germs | ||
| Throwing up or getting sick | ||
| Other: Vegetables | ||
| Social Fears | How much of a problem is this situation/fear? (0-10) | Notes specific to your child |
| Thinks others will think badly of them | ||
| Scared of answering or asking questions in class | ||
| Avoids standing out or being the center of attention | ||
| Worries that others will laugh at them | ||
| Avoids interacting with peers | ||
| Avoids speaking to others | ||
| Other: | ||
| Generalized Worries | How much of a problem is this situation/fear? (0-10) | Notes specific to your child |
| Worries about getting in trouble | ||
| Worries about performance | ||
| Anxious about assignments or tests | ||
| Gets upset and/or starts over when something they are doing is not perfect | ||
| Asks a lot of questions | ||
| Complains of physical symptoms (e.g., headaches, stomachaches, sleep problems) | ||
| Worries about the future (moving, change, money, being okay, changing schools) | ||
| Other: | ||
| Separation Fears | How much of a problem is this situation/fear? (0-10) | Notes specific to your child |
| Scared of being separated from caregivers | ||
| Worries about something bad happening to caregivers | ||
| Worries about getting lost | ||
| Scared of sleeping away from caregivers or home | ||
| Follows caregivers around | ||
| Complains of physical symptoms when required to separate from caregivers | ||
| Gets upset/tantrums when required to separate from caregivers | ||
| Other |
Ask yourself and/or your child what they avoid, refuse to do, or find difficult and then ask yourself if that could be related to anxiety.
Getting your child to participate in this activity will be harder for some families than others. Why? Well, children sometimes do not want to talk about their fears. Even discussing a feared situation may be scary for them, too (this might be a great place to start for some mission plans)! They may also suspect that telling you about certain fears will then lead to them having to face it, so they would rather just pretend like it isn’t a fear at all.
Further, some children may not recognize certain fears. It is also possible that they may have avoided a fear for so long that they have forgotten about it or they think it is no longer a problem.
Keep in mind that kids who struggle with the need to be perfect may also be embarrassed to admit that they have these fears. Remember you can always use your rewards system to help motivate your child to participate in LUNA.
Once you have finalized your list, it can be helpful to discuss a couple of your top options with your child to see if they have any anxiety symptoms that they are particularly motivated to work on. It isn’t a problem if your child is not sure at this stage, that is okay. We will go over how to select a good fear in the next section.