Welcome to the fourth module of LUNA! This week, you will learn how to help your child face their fears by creating what we call a “plan of action”. This week contains a lot of new and important concepts and activities, so take your time working through the material to make sure you understand all the information.
You will spend about 1 hour reading, watching videos, and doing activities. We encourage you to take breaks and come back to the material as much as you need. Remember, your child will also have readings, videos, and worksheets to complete in their own modules, which can be done on their own or with your support.
Previously on LUNA…
Since beginning LUNA, you have learned about anxiety, set specific and achievable goals for the program, measured anxiety levels with the anxiety intensity scale, and brainstormed ways to keep your child feeling motivated. You also learned about avoidance and quick fixes, which are two behaviors that can get in the way of overcoming anxiety.
Watch the video below to get started with Module 4!
When faced with anxiety, fear, or worry, we might think that avoidance will help us become less anxious. Avoidance can take on many different forms, such as:
- "Escaping” from a situation that makes you anxious (like leaving a birthday party early because you are afraid that others are judging you),
- Refusing to put yourself in a situation that makes you anxious (like not going to the beach with your friends because you are afraid of the water),
- Distracting yourself from your anxieties (like watching anime on your phone when you are in a stressful situation so you don’t have to think about it)
- Or procrastinating on tasks that make you anxious (like not studying for a big test you are worried about).
You may also think that “quick fixes” will help you become less anxious. For instance, you may repeat certain actions because they make you feel less anxiety about something, like checking to make sure your front door is locked over and over again, or asking a parent over and over if everything is ok.
While avoidance and quick fixes might make us feel better in the moment, they can hurt us in the long run. The more you avoid your anxieties, the stronger they get.
Remember the avoidance cycle? Let's look at this cycle to see what happens when George does not confront his fear of germs. The cycle begins when George encounters a trigger, which is the germs he believes are around him. George cannot stop worrying about germs and about getting sick. These thoughts cause George to feel afraid and anxious. Instead of facing his fear of germs, George avoids touching anything that could be dirty. This makes George feel less afraid at first. But George is still just as scared of germs as before. In fact, as George continues to avoid touching different objects, he becomes MORE afraid of germs over time.
Instead of avoiding our anxieties, we need to face our fears to overcome them. Psychologists have a word for this strategy: Exposure. So far in LUNA, you’ve learned a lot about anxiety, but it is not enough to just think or talk about your anxieties. At some point, you need to face what is making you afraid, and that is where exposure comes in. Exposure works because it helps you:
- Get used to your fears over time
- Learn that what you are afraid of probably won’t happen, and if it does happen, that you can handle it
- Believe in yourself, and learn how to handle stress
- And live your life the way you want!
Don’t worry, in LUNA we will not ask you to face your biggest anxiety right away if you don’t feel ready to do that. Instead, you will be developing a plan of action that helps you slowly and gradually face things that make you anxious. Your plan will have many steps or activities for you to complete. You will start with a task that you feel ready to do, which might be something that does not make you feel too anxious, and work your way up to a task that shows you have really conquered this fear or anxiety. The last activity in your plan of action will be the goal that you are working to accomplish!
Sophia’s plan of action will help her face her fear of others judging her. Ultimately, she wants to be able to give a presentation in front of her class at school. Sophia has filled her plan with activities that will help her work her way up to this goal. Here are some of the exposure activities in Sophia’s plan:
- Have a conversation with a friend at school
- Talk to the waiter and order on her own at a restaurant
- Eat lunch with a group of people at school instead of on her own
- Raise her hand and answer a question in front of the whole class
- Go to a classmate’s birthday party and join in on a group conversation at the party
- Give a presentation in front of her class!
Sophia created this plan of action with her mom's help. She is going to practice at least one of these activities every day. All these activities will help her reach her goal because they all challenge her fear that others will judge her. Sometimes she will try the same activity over again, and sometimes she will mix it up, trying different exposure activities until she feels ready for the last, most challenging one. Every time she completes an activity, Sophia gives herself a motivation booster. A motivation booster is a reward Sophia uses to keep her feeling supported and enthusiastic as she reaches her goal. Sometimes, Sophia gives herself points for completing an activity instead. She can then exchange these points for a motivation booster so that she receives her reward indirectly instead of right away. Identifying when you are anxious and keeping yourself motivated are going to help you in this journey. In the next section, you will learn how to put together your own plan of action and give it a try yourself. You can do this!
Making a Plan of Action
As you saw in the video, exposure is extremely helpful for overcoming anxiety. Exposure is helpful because it allows your child to become more familiar with their fears, build confidence in their ability to handle stressful emotions, and form new opinions about their anxieties or worries.
Exposure also gives your child the opportunity to learn new things about their fears. For example, George is afraid of starting conversations with peers because he thinks they will make fun of him. One day, George faces his fear by introducing himself to a new student at school. By exposing himself to this fear, George learned that he actually didn’t get made fun of after starting a conversation, and instead, he made a new friend!
Remember the avoidance cycle we talked about in Module 3? Taking small steps to gradually confront their fears and worries is what will help your child break this cycle. To see how this happens, take a look at these Avoidance Cycle examples and watch how the cycle is broken.
Even though exposure is very helpful, it can also be very difficult. This is why your child will use a plan of action to face their fears gradually, step-by-step, until they reach the goal that they decide upon!
Now that you have an idea of what a plan of action is and why exposure is helpful, you are ready to help your child or teen create their own plan of action.
You will use these Steps for Making a Plan of Action along with the My Plan of Action worksheet to help your child create their plan.
View a PDF version
Sophia's Plan of Action!
- What anxiety or fear is this plan of action for: Social anxiety/fear of others judging me
- What is your goal: Give a presentation in front of my class at school
| Exposure Activity | Anxiety level (0-10) |
| Have a conversation with a friend at school | 2 |
| Say hello to all my friends and teachers at school when I pass them in the hallway | 3 |
| Talk to the waiter and order on my own at a restaurant instead of having my friends or family order for me | 4 |
| Have a conversation with someone I don’t usually talk to at school | 5 |
| Practice giving a presentation in front of my family | 6 |
| Eat lunch with a group of people at school instead of on my own | 7 |
| Raise my hand and answer a question in front of the classroom | 8 |
| Go to Anna’s birthday party, join a group of people, and talk with them | 9 |
| Goal Activity: Give a presentation in front of my class at school | 10 |
View a PDF version
George's Plan of Action!
- What anxiety or fear is this plan of action for: Fear of touching objects that may be dirty or have germs
- What is your goal: Be able to use the public restroom at school and only wash my hands once for 10 seconds
| Exposure Activity | Anxiety level (0-10) |
| Stand in my bathroom at home for 2 minutes without washing my hands after | 2 |
| Stand in the bathroom at school for 2 minutes without washing my hands after | 3 |
| High five a friend at school without washing my hands after | 4 |
| Touch a dirty shirt in the laundry hamper without washing my hands after | 5 |
| Play video games at the school’s gaming club without wiping the controllers or washing my hands after | 6 |
| Touch the door handles, light switches, and tables at school without washing my hands after for a full school day | 7 |
| Touch a stall door in a public restroom without washing my hands after | 8 |
| Use the public restroom at school and only wash my hands once for 20 seconds | 9 |
| Goal Activity: Use the public restroom at school and only wash my hands once for 10 seconds | 10 |
Here are the steps for making a Plan of Action (View a PDF version):
- Choose the first fear, anxiety, or worry you want to tackle
- Choose a specific goal you want to reach based on the anxiety you chose
- Brainstorm different steps or exposure activities to complete (these steps will make up your plan of action)
- Give each exposure activity a rating using the anxiety intensity scale
- Order the activities from least to most scary
- Choose a motivation booster or number of points for each activity