Check In With Them
You can help your child learn new things about their fears by having quick check-ins with them after they complete an activity. Try asking them open-ended questions during these check-ins to help them reflect on their practice. For example, instead of asking questions such as, “That went well, right?” or “It wasn’t too bad, right?”, try asking something like, “How did you feel about that activity?”.
Here are some more helpful questions you can ask during these conversations:
- What did you learn about your worry/fear?
- How did your anxiety and feelings change?
- What did you do well?
- How did you cope with your anxiety?
- How do you think the next practice will go?
- What would you do differently in your next practice?
- How was this different than the last time you practiced?
Encouraging Your Child
Remember to deliver motivation boosters or points to your child after they practice an activity. It’s important to note that you are rewarding your child’s effort, not their success. However, your child should not earn a motivation booster if they did not try their best and truly attempt an exposure activity.
In addition to this, remember to use verbal and non-verbal praises too. Your child should stop receiving motivation boosters or points for an activity once it starts becoming too easy or after they have moved on to harder activities in their plan of action. Make sure your child knows this change is happening and continue to congratulate them (if your praise is motivating for them).
Begin A New Plan of Action
A good plan of action will contain a number of activities for your child to master as they work their way up to one final goal. You and your child may want to think about creating a second (or third) plan of action based on different fears so that they can work on their skills in a variety of situations or work towards more than one goal.
Depending on the nature of the fears/anxiety, some kids and teens can work on a few plans at one time. This can be helpful if the plans involve activities that are hard to work on every day (such as facing a fear of needles or doctor’s appointments). For plans that allow frequent and consistent practice or for plans that are based on your child’s biggest fear, it may be more helpful to complete that plan of action before moving on to a new plan for a new fear.