Tips for Caregivers: If your child is having trouble completing their mission plan, ask yourself the following questions to reevaluate your plan.
1. Is my goal realistic?
- Your goal should be practical, but also represent conquering the selected fear or worry. Be sure to make your goal measurable and specific enough so that you and your child know exactly what has to happen in order for the goal to be considered achieved.
2. Are the steps in my mission plan practical?
- Activities in the mission plan should be within your control and specific. If you find that your mission plan activities are too much of a hassle to complete, think about modifying them to make them more doable. For example, if you want your child to practice petting a dog, but the only dogs you know live 15 miles away, consider going on a walk or sitting on a bench outside if you live in a neighborhood with many dog owners – chances are you will encounter a dog! You can also look at pictures of dogs or watch videos of dogs on the Internet. Making your mission plans doable will help you practice more frequently.
3. Are we practicing enough?
- Engage in mission plans on a regular basis. At minimum practice should occur multiple times per week. It will be easier to stick to a schedule if you plan it out beforehand using a calendar (or our Weekly Practice Plan worksheet).
4. Are the steps in my mission plan too easy or hard?
- Make sure the first step is slightly challenging, but definitely doable for your child. This will give them confidence in their ability to face the next activities in their mission plan. Experiencing success and its rewards should motivate your child to keep facing more difficult activities! As you are practicing mission plans and monitoring your child’s progress, it is important to be flexible! It is rare that you will execute a mission plan from start to finish exactly as you planned from the beginning. Some activities will likely end up being easier or harder than you or your child expected, so it is important to adjust the plan as needed. If your child is reluctant to move on and practice the next step, consider the following:
- Make sure to remind them about the reward they will be earning (e.g., “remember that when you try it, you will earn [reward]”).
- Consider offering a stronger reward to motivate them to try the next step the first time.
- Make sure your child has the skills they need to complete the activity. For example, if the mission plan practice includes approaching a peer at the park and having a conversation with them, do they know what to say when they walk up to the peer? Do they have ideas for what to ask or say after they introduce themselves? If your child does not have the skills they need to complete the activity, teach and practice these skills prior to having them complete it. We will discuss social skills more in an upcoming week.
- If needed, brainstorm a step (or steps) to help bridge the gap between the previous step and the current step. They should be a little harder than the previous step, but not quite as hard at the one they are refusing to attempt. It could even be a slight variation of the current step (for example, the same situation, but in a different setting, with a different person present, or at a different time of day).
- If you do not think the current step is too big of a jump from the previous step, consider having them practice an activity they already successfully completed before prompting them to attempt the new activity again.
5. Is my child staying in the feared situation long enough?
- In order for mission plan practice to be effective, your child should not leave the feared situation before they reach their goal. If it is harder to tell when the goal has been reached, try to stay in the situation until their anxiety has decreased by about half of when you started.
6. Are the rewards in my mission plan appropriate and effective?
- If your child is struggling to get through a mission plan practice, they may not feel that the reward is worth the effort. Check in with your child before every step to ensure that they feel their reward is exciting. Ensure you are being consistent with delivering rewards.
7. Am I being consistent?
- Consistency is key when you are working on mission plans. Ensure you are making a plan for practicing mission plans and actually sticking to it. If you find yourself not being consistent, ask yourself why. Be honest with yourself! Then modify the plan to set yourself (and your child) up for success. This might mean adding activities that happen more frequently and/or are slightly less scary for your child. It could also mean setting a more realistic goal of practicing a certain activity two or three times a week instead of seven. Alternatively, adding reminders to your personal or family calendar could help you stick to your plan. Asking another caregiver or friend for support might also help you be more consistent – they might be able to act as an accountability buddy or take on other responsibilities that allow you to focus more on mission plan practice with your child.
What if my child is not making any progress?
Some kids will make gains more slowly and will need to keep practicing longer than other kids. If it feels like your child is not progressing along their mission plan quickly, try your best not to get discouraged! You may need to practice more frequently and give more time for your child and yourself. Your child may have been avoiding their fear for several months or years, so it is understandable that reversing this pattern would take lots of time. Try your best to be patient and know that the techniques we are teaching in this program have been tested and shown to work in hundreds of scientific studies. Look out for the small victories – over time, they will add up!