LUNA uses a reward system to motivate and encourage your child to move forward in the program. Rewards are very important in motivating children to take part in treatment - learning how to manage anxiety is tough work!
Before jumping in to discuss how to develop a rewards plan for your child, we wanted to address some common myths about using rewards.
For each of the statements, decide whether you think it is a myth or a fact. Then, reveal the answer.
Myth!
While your child will need some more motivation to start practicing and learning the skills, they will get easier and become second nature over time. As a result, your child will begin using the skills without the expectation of being rewarded.
Myth!
Rewards and bribes are two different concepts. Bribes are usually given in the middle of a misbehavior to try to make it stop. Or they are given before your child has done something good in the hope that the bribes will motivate your child to do it. In contrast, rewards are earned only after a positive behavior has been done. In LUNA, you will only give rewards after your child has made a sincere effort to complete an exercise. In this way, they are rewards, not bribes.
Myth!
If you are concerned about this, it can be helpful to remember that we all get rewarded for things that are important and take hard work, like when adults get pay checks for doing their job. In LUNA, we do not recommend giving rewards for everything your child does, rather just for doing the hard, important work of trying to learn habits to overcome anxiety.
Making Rewards Rewarding!
- Rewards should be meaningful to your child. Rewards should be something that your child values a lot, so they will motivate your child to do the next set of homework. Connecting rewards with your child’s special interests can be especially powerful. Remember that to be meaningful, the reward does not need to be big or expensive (e.g., getting to sleep in, getting an extra 10 minutes engaging in an activity your child enjoys).
- Rewards can be “direct” or “indirect.” Direct rewards are specific items or activities that are given to the child as they accomplish a particular goal. For example, your child practices a skill, and you give them some gaming time right after. In contrast, an indirect reward or a point system involves earning points for accomplishments that are saved up to trade in for a reward later. For example, your child might earn one star for regular activities, and 3 stars for a particularly difficult activity. Once they earn 10 stars, they can trade them in for a toy they have been wanting for ages. You probably already have a good idea how your child responds to different reward systems, and caregivers sometimes offer both types of rewards depending on their situations.
- Rewards can be tangible and non-tangible. Rewards can be “tangible,” like toys, electronics and so on, but they can also be “non-tangible,” like time for board games with family, a special sleep-in, going to a park, or picking the dinner menu.
- Rewards should be given as soon as possible after your child has performed something that’s worth a reward. If you are in a situation where it is difficult to give a reward, give a verbal praise (e.g., “Well done on completing this homework!”) and make it clear for your child that they will receive a reward afterwards for something that they have done in the moment (e.g., “You did such a great job! I will give you a reward once we get back home”)
- Rewards should be diverse. Try to mix up the rewards! Try to include rewards in your list that are small, big, tangible, and non-tangible. You could give smaller rewards for doing regular weekly homework, while giving big rewards for moving up on a mission plan (you will learn about the mission plan later on!)
- Plan out the rewards with your child. You can create an initial list of options, and then discuss with your child. Your child will probably have ideas for rewards that you haven’t thought of!
- Follow through on the rewards. Of course, challenges in life can happen and you might not be able to give the reward as expected (for example, it might be raining outside when you had a trip to the park planned). If that happens, discuss with your child about swapping out for an equally exciting reward, or an agreed plan to replace the reward as quickly as possible.
- Don’t be afraid to not give a reward! Don’t let your child get the reward by begging or negotiating the reward after doing the homework or activity.
- Rewards should be “reinforcing.” What do we mean by “reinforcing”? It means that the rewards help your child engage in a behavior more. If your child faces their fears or sits down with you to complete LUNA activities more after they get a reward, then the reward is reinforcing.
- Pair rewards with social interactions with you that your child likes. For many kids, providing genuine and enthusiastic praise along with a reward goes a long way, such as saying “I’m so proud of you for how hard you’ve been working!” or “I know that was hard for you, but you did amazing!” Social attention is not reinforcing for some children, however, especially those on the autism spectrum (if that is relevant for you). We generally recommend all caregivers try praising their child when they actively participate in LUNA. If you notice that your child is less likely to try to accomplish their goals when you praise them, stick with only using rewards.
There are two ways to go about rewards in LUNA:
- Brave Bucks with rewards menu
- Direct rewards from a rewards list.
No matter what you choose, you should always follow the guidelines above in order to make the rewards effective for your child. On the next pages, you will find descriptions of each option. Later, you will also find some guidance on which option would be the best for your child.