“Quick fixes” are another type of behavior that your child may engage in when they are feeling anxious. In addition to avoidance, your child may perform certain behaviors or actions over and over again in order to calm down their anxiety and prevent feared outcomes from happening. We call these behaviors quick fixes because they do not get to the root of what is causing your child’s fears or solve any problems in the long run.
Watch the video below to learn more about quick fixes:
Sometimes we have “quick fixes” for anxiety, fears, or other emotions. Quick fixes help us feel better at first but do not help with these problems in the long-term. A really common quick fix for fears or worries is asking lots of questions about them. Another common one is spending too much time searching the internet for things you are worried about. And another common quick fix is to check things you are worried about over and over.
At first, quick fixes help you feel better, but over time they trick your brain into thinking your fears are something you need to keep worrying about. For instance, after George touches anything he thinks might have germs, he uses a quick fix such as immediately washing his hands to stop him from worrying about the germs. But now, George spends way too long washing his hands multiple times a day, because he is always thinking about all the germs that could be on his hands.
Sophia often worries that her friends might be upset with her, even when there is no clear reason. Whenever she has this worry, she repeatedly asks her friends if they are mad at her. Her friends reassure her each time that everything is fine, which helps her feel better for a little while. However, the more she asks for reassurance, the more she feels the need to keep asking if her friends are mad at her, and the harder it becomes for her to feel confident in her friendships without constantly confirming with her friends.
Sophia also feels like she must watch her favorite anime before going to bed every night. Whenever the plans change, Sophia worries that she might not get back home in time to watch it, which makes her anxious. She asks her mom repeatedly to go home so she will have enough time to watch the show before bed. Her mom reassures her that she will have enough time, which makes her feel better at first, but every minute they do not leave to go home Sophia feels a little more anxious.
George sometimes worries about getting really sick, and often uses quick fixes to deal with these worries. Whenever he gets a stomachache, he will spend hours looking on the Internet to see what this may mean. He keeps looking but never feels 100% certain, so he keeps asking his mom and dad what they think too. Each time they tell him he’s okay, he feels a little better. But when his parents aren’t with him, he won’t be able to handle these thoughts by himself. The next time he notices his stomach hurting, he starts worrying all over again.
It is natural to get into the habit of using quick fixes to deal with your anxiety, like asking questions about your fears or worries, looking up information about them on the internet, or checking to make sure everything is okay to deal with your anxiety. But, you have what it takes to break this habit and face your fears instead!
Like avoidance, quick fixes may temporarily relieve anxiety, but they will not help your child face their fears, so they are not a good long-term solution. When someone faces a feared situation and uses quick fixes to deal with their anxiety, they may feel like the quick fix is the main reason for their success or safety in the situation, or the only reason they made it out okay. In this way, these behaviors prevent them from learning about their fears or developing confidence. The more your child uses quick fixes, the more they will depend on these behaviors to alleviate their anxiety or slow down their worries. As you may have guessed, quick fixes can also lead to a cycle that keeps anxiety going.
Take a look at the Quick Fixes Cycle. As you can see, the quick fix cycle looks almost exactly like the avoidance cycle!
Then, take a look at this list of common quick fixes to get more familiar with them:
List of Common Quick Fixes:
- Washing your hands too much or cleaning things too much
- Carrying a special object everywhere
- Checking your phone for notifications you are worried about over and over
- Asking too many questions about your fears
- Checking things over and over (like door locks, the oven/stove, or where exits are located)
- Spending lots of time researching your fears online
Quick Fixes vs. Helpful Coping Tools
It's important to note that it’s not always appropriate for children to learn how to manage their anxiety without allowing them to lean on certain items or behaviors for support. Many autistic kids and teens may experience anxiety related to the sensory experiences associated with certain situations. These sensory experiences can be overwhelming, uncomfortable or even painful for them.
For example, George is afraid of shopping malls, airports, and theme parks, and refuses to go to any of these places. George has developed a fear of these places due to the sensory experiences associated with them. These places are usually noisy, crowded, and difficult to navigate, making them extremely overwhelming for George. Certain items, such as noise cancelling headphones, may be essential for facing fears that stem from sensory sensitivities. In George’s case, noise cancelling headphones actually help him overcome his fears and worries. While wearing his headphones, George is able to go to the mall with his family, and he realizes that the mall itself is not so scary after all. Maybe eventually, he will even be able to face some of these situations without wearing headphones.
In this example, George uses his headphones as a coping skill, and not as a quick fix, because they help him approach his fears. Sometimes these coping skills are one step towards overcoming these fears. You will learn more about coping tools in a later module, but today, let’s focus on how to determine if something is an unhelpful quick fix or a helpful tool!
The best way to figure out if something is a quick fix or not is to determine whether it is helping your child accomplish their goals and approach their fears. If it helps them face their fears and if they are flexible in how much they use the item or engage in the behavior, it is likely a helpful tool, and not a quick fix. But if it does not help them reach their goals, or if they feel like they must use the item or engage in the behavior, it is probably a quick fix. Here is a diagram to help you determine whether something is a quick fix, or a helpful tool:
| Quick Fixes | Helpful Tools | Both |
|
| Both help your child feel less anxious in the short-term, but quick fixes do not help your child face their fears in the long term |
The most important thing to remember is that if the behavior is helping your child accomplish their goals, such as going to school, meeting friends, or participating in other important activities, the behavior is probably a helpful coping tool. If the behavior is restricting your child’s life or causing more stress in your family, it is likely a quick fix.
Identifying Avoidance and Quick Fixes
It can sometimes be difficult to identify your child’s avoidance behaviors and quick fixes. In some cases, your child or teen may be skilled at masking their discomfort or hiding their attempts to avoid a feared situation. In other cases, avoidance behaviors and quick fixes can be extremely obvious, especially if they are heavily disrupting you or your child’s lives.
Look back at the Fears and Worries checklist you and your child filled out in Module 1. For each fear that is checked off, ask yourself if you have seen your child avoid things or situations due to that fear. Then, ask yourself if your child uses any quick fixes to manage any of the fears on the list. After this, go over the checklist with your child and ask them what they think. For example, if your list indicates that your child is afraid of interacting with peers, you could ask them, “How do you usually act or behave when you are feeling worried or afraid of interacting with peers? Do you think there’s things that you avoid due to this fear?”.
We have two worksheets that may help your child recognize how they behave when they are anxious. There’s one for avoidance behaviors, and one for quick fixes. You may help your child fill out these worksheets or they can complete them on their own. Either way, it is a good idea to review these worksheets with your child to see what anxiety behaviors they can come up with.
Let's Learn About OCD
Before we move on, we have one more anxiety cycle to talk about- The OCD Cycle.
Note: Every kid or teen in this program will most likely have anxiety. But not all of them will have OCD. The information here will only be needed by a few of you!
Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, or OCD, is often misunderstood. It is common for people to think that OCD is just a quirky trait or a preference for staying clean and organized- but this is not what OCD is! OCD involves a cycle that repeats itself. This cycle can impact many areas of life, and it uses up a lot of time and energy. Here are the steps in the OCD cycle: (View as PDF)
Step #1: Triggers
It all begins with a trigger that brings up an intrusive thought. Intrusive thoughts are upsetting or unwanted ideas, doubts, images, or feelings that pop into someone’s head. A trigger can be almost anything – a person, a situation, a place, or a feeling in your body.
Step #2: Obsessions
It’s normal to have intrusive thoughts! We all experience doubts or unwanted ideas at times. Intrusive thoughts only become a problem once they turn into something called obsessions. Obsessions are intrusive or unwanted thoughts that come up over and over again. For someone with OCD, intrusive thoughts carry a lot more meaning- this makes them feel very threatening, scary, urgent, or important. For most people, intrusive thoughts are just temporary ideas, but in OCD, they spiral into something much bigger. When someone gets pulled into the OCD cycle, their intrusive thoughts start to recur and turn into obsessions.
Step #3: Emotions
In OCD, obsessions can bring up a lot of really uncomfortable emotions such as fear, shame, anxiety, or disgust. Another common emotion in OCD is feeling like things are not correct or not just right. This is called having a “not-just-right” experience. For instance, when cleaning his room, George has a constant feeling that his bookshelf is not organized just right. This feeling upsets and bugs George a lot.
Step #4: Compulsions
Emotions such as distress, fear, or disgust caused by obsessions can lead to behaviors called compulsions. Compulsions can be any action someone with OCD uses to try and get rid of these feelings or to stop bad things from happening. Compulsions are usually physical actions, such as washing your hands or checking on your pet over and over, but they can sometimes be in your head too. For example, someone might try to block out scary thoughts or replace their “bad” thoughts with “good” ones. They may adjust their thoughts like this over and over again, even if it does not seem to work for very long.
Compulsions are a specific type of quick fix. Compulsions happen much more often than other kinds of quick fixes, and they also tend to come along with the strongest urges. For example, George has a very strong urge to keep organizing his bookshelf, not because he enjoys organizing, but to try and get rid of the upsetting feeling that it is not organized correctly.
Step #5: Temporary Relief
Compulsions provide a short break from upsetting emotions and thoughts, but they also keep the OCD cycle going. When using compulsions, someone with OCD will feel temporary relief. Because obsessions can be so upsetting, it makes perfect sense why someone would keep turning to compulsions to try and feel better. But the next time an upsetting thought comes up, they feel like they must repeat the compulsion over and over again to get rid of the uncomfortable thought or feeling. Compulsions end up stopping someone from learning that their unwanted thoughts or doubts are not actually a threat. They don’t get to find out that they can face these thoughts and emotions when they give themselves a chance!
You’ll notice that the OCD cycle looks almost exactly like the other two anxiety cycles we have shown you so far. This is because the OCD cycle is a specific version of these other cycles. One difference is that the OCD cycle tends to be faster. Someone can move through the steps in the OCD cycle pretty quickly. This means that the OCD cycle can repeat itself a whole lot of times in just one day.
If your child has OCD, or if you notice that they could be dealing with some obsessions or compulsions, then take some time to go over the Understanding Your OCD worksheet with them. You could have them fill out the worksheet first and then look over their answers together, or you could work with your child to fill out the worksheet with them.
Then, take a look at this list of common obsessions and compulsions that can show up in OCD. But keep in mind- there are many other types that are not on this list:
| OCD Type | Common Obsession | Common Compulsion |
| Harm | You are afraid that you might hurt yourself or someone / something else | You may be extra careful that you don’t accidentally hurt yourself or others (Ex. Hiding knives or sharp things) |
| Contamination | You are afraid that germs or harmful substances will hurt or kill you or others | You may wash your hands or surfaces in a specific way or for a specific amount of time |
| Bad Thoughts / Rumination | You can’t stop going over unpleasant thoughts in your head | You might ask people to reassure you that your unpleasant thoughts are wrong or try hard to get rid of upsetting thoughts |
| Order & Symmetry | You need things to feel “even” or equal and if they aren’t you are fearful for some reason | You may count your movements or try to do things equally on the right and the left |
| Somatic | You have a fear around normal things your body does, like blinking, swallowing, or breathing | You may count normal bodily functions or check that you are still completing them (Ex. Making sure you are still breathing / breathing correctly) |
| Magical Thinking | You think that your actions are connected to unrelated things that happen to you and other people | You may do certain things the same way every day to make sure that unrelated bad things do not happen to yourself or other people |
| Health | You are afraid that you already have or will develop a serious health issue | You may look up health conditions on the internet and feel convinced you have a condition |
| Other | Obsessions can be about nearly any topic that is important to you | Compulsions can be almost any action |
Do any of the thoughts or behaviors on this list seem familiar to you? Are any of these thoughts or behaviors similar to the ones your child wrote down on their worksheet? If so, take a quick mental note of this!
OCD can be hard to understand, and it can be even harder to recognize and understand signs of OCD in your child. If what you have learned about OCD confuses you, or if it seems like OCD is something your child could be dealing with, please talk about this with your therapist at your next meeting.