Later on in LUNA, there will be different activities your child will need to complete, which will usually involve facing their fears to overcome them. Completing these activities and facing fears every week is not easy, and sometimes it is very difficult to make these changes. If you find that your child is running low on motivation or if they are getting discouraged while facing their fears, that is completely okay! Remember, your child is doing something hard, so it may be helpful for them to have a motivation booster or reward for all their hard work!
Motivation boosters can help motivate your child through a challenge or reward them after one! When facing something scary, your child may be more motivated to keep going if they know that they will receive something they are looking forward to afterwards.
Motivation boosters can also provide support after doing something really challenging. Feeling supported and cared for is important, especially when your child is working to face their fears. For example, activities such as spending quality time with your child, taking them to get their favorite dessert, or giving them extra time to relax with their favorite video game, may help your child feel cared for and supported after doing something difficult.
Motivation Boosters (Rewards)
In LUNA, we will usually refer to rewards as motivation boosters to better encompass all the different ways your child can be encouraged to keep going. For instance, rewards or motivation boosters do not have to be gifts or physical items. They do not even need to cost money. Especially as kids get older, they may benefit from creating their own motivation boosters to reward themselves for their hard work. If your child enjoys music from a certain artist, something as simple as giving themselves time to relax and listen to the artist’s new record could be considered a motivation booster.
But before we continue discussing the different ways to keep your child motivated, we want to address some common myths about using rewards.
For each of these statements, decide whether you think it is a myth or a fact. Then, click to reveal the answer.
The statement above is a myth! While your child will need some more motivation/support to begin practicing and learning these skills, they will become easier for your child overtime. As these skills become second nature, your child will begin using them without the expectation of being rewarded.
The statement above is a myth! Rewards and bribes are two different concepts. Bribes are usually given in the middle of a misbehavior to try and make it stop. Or they are given before your child has done something good in the hopes that the bribe will encourage good behavior. In contrast, rewards are earned only after a positive behavior has been completed. In LUNA, your child will be rewarded after they have made a sincere effort to challenge their fears.
The statement above is a myth! If you are concerned about this, it can be helpful to remember that we all get rewarded for things that are important and take hard work, like when adults get pay checks for doing their job. Also, everyone needs support in order to do hard things. In LUNA, we do not recommend giving rewards for everything your child does, rather just for doing the hard, important work of trying to learn habits to overcome anxiety.
Tips for Motivation Boosters (Rewards)
Now, let’s go over some motivation booster tips and some different ways to keep your child feeling motivated and supported.
Motivation boosters should be something that your child or teen values a lot, so they will encourage your child to take the steps needed to face their fears. Motivation boosters that involve your child’s interests and passions can be especially powerful. Remember that to be meaningful, the reward does not need to be big or expensive (e.g., getting to sleep in, getting an extra 20 minutes to work on a hobby, or watching a TV show).
We want to offer you two different ways to think about motivation boosters. These two methods will be especially helpful after completing Module 4. This is because your child will be receiving motivation boosters for completing tasks that you will learn about later, called exposure activities.
- Direct motivation boosters are specific items or experiences that are given to your child as they complete an exposure activity. For example, when your child completes an activity, you may give them some gaming time directly after.
- Indirect motivation boosters work on a point system. For example, your child may earn points for completing an exposure activity. Those points are then saved up to trade in for a motivation booster later. Your child might earn 3 points for an easier task, and 10 points for a more difficult task. Once they earn a total of 20 points, they can trade them in for a book they have been wanting or for a trip somewhere they are excited to go.
- You probably already have a good idea of how your child responds to different reward systems, and caregivers sometimes offer both direct and indirect motivation boosters depending on the circumstance.
Motivation boosters can be “tangible” rewards such as books, games, electronics and so on. But they can also be “non-tangible” rewards, such as a family board game night, extra time for hobbies, a trip to the park, or picking the dinner menu.
If you are in a situation where it is difficult to give a motivation booster, you can give a verbal praise (e.g., “Well done!”) and make it clear to your child that they will receive a motivation booster afterwards for their hard work (e.g., “You did such a great job! You will get some extra screen time once we get back home”).
Try to include motivation boosters in your list that are small, big, tangible, and non-tangible. Your child should get smaller motivation boosters for doing easier tasks, and larger motivation boosters for completing harder tasks.
You and your child will create an initial list of motivation booster options. As we mentioned before, it may be helpful for older kids to work on giving themselves motivation boosters so that they can learn how to support and encourage themselves as they face their fears.
Of course, challenges in life can happen and you might not be able to give your child a motivation booster as expected (for example, it might be raining outside when you had a trip to the park planned). If that happens, talk to your child about switching to an equally exciting motivation booster, or talk to them about going to the park on a different day, but as soon as possible.
Don’t let your child receive a motivation booster by begging or negotiating the reward. Motivation boosters should only be given after a pre-specified goal has been accomplished. If they do not reach their goal, rather than negotiating different possible goals or rewards, you can simply communicate that it’s okay and that you are confident they will be successful if they try again next time.
This means that the motivation boosters should help your child engage in a certain behavior more often (for instance, completing an exposure activity more often to face a certain fear).
For many kids, especially younger ones, providing genuine and enthusiastic praise along with a reward goes a long way. For example, you might tell your child, “I’m so proud of you for how hard you’ve been working!” or “I know that was hard for you, but you did amazing!”. We generally recommend that all caregivers express to their child that they are proud of them for their hard work.
- While all these considerations can be helpful for many children, others may not find some of these practices rewarding (for example, some children might be less likely to do what you ask if you give lots of social attention or praise after). If you notice that your child does not respond well to praise, direct rewards, or indirect rewards, then feel free to change up these ideas and figure out what works for your child.
Indirect Motivation Boosters
Now, let’s talk a little bit more about direct versus indirect motivation boosters.
If you and your child decide to use indirect motivation boosters, your child will earn a different number of points for each exposure activity they complete. The number of points they earn will be based on how difficult the activity is. Once your child earns enough points, they can use them to receive different rewards from their Motivation Booster List.
You can help your child create this list by thinking about what would help motivate them on this journey and how they can feel supported and taken care of after completing a hard task.
Here is an example of Sophia and George’s Motivation Boosters. When they earn enough points, they look at their list of Motivation Boosters and pick which reward they would like to spend their points on.
| Rewards | Points |
|---|---|
| Buy a new medieval fantasy book | 15 |
| Set aside some time to listen to a new record from my favorite band | 5 |
| Have a relaxing evening watching my favorite movie | 3 |
| Go to my favorite restaurant with a friend | 8 |
| Get 1 hour extra screen time for my favorite videogame | 6 |
| Visit the medieval exhibit in the museum | 12 |
| Spend some time on a new interest/hobby one evening | 5 |
| Rewards | Points |
|---|---|
| Have a spa day (paint my nails, put on a face mask, etc.) | 10 |
| Start an art project I’ve been wanting to try | 6 |
| I get to choose the movie for family movie night | 3 |
| Spend the evening reading my favorite comic book series | 8 |
| Start a new anime series I’ve been wanting to watch | 5 |
| Buy a new outfit at the mall | 20 |
| Get some new items for my art supplies collection | 15 |
Your child will work on creating their own list of Motivation Boosters, and you can help them! You may either review the list your child comes up with or lead the process with your child’s help. Save this Motivation Booster + Points worksheet on your device so you can fill it out and have it easily accessible. Or you can make your own list using a piece of paper if you’d like.
Make sure your child has motivation boosters that are worth a smaller number of points and ones that are worth more points. Remember, you can always revisit and update the rewards and how many points they are worth if needed.
When using indirect motivation boosters, it’s helpful to make sure your child knows that they have earned points immediately after they complete an exposure activity.
Direct Motivation Boosters
If you and your child decide to use direct motivation boosters, your child will be rewarded directly after they complete an exposure activity, instead of exchanging points for a reward. If this sounds more intuitive to you, then you can help your child create a Motivation Booster list without assigning points to each reward. Make sure your child has both smaller and bigger motivation boosters to go with easier and harder tasks.
Again, save this Motivation Booster worksheet on your device so that you can fill it out and help your child come up with different rewards.
Throughout LUNA, you may choose to use only direct motivation boosters, only indirect ones, or a combination of both based on whatever works best for you and your child.
If your child or teen is organized and is often motivated by working their way towards bigger goals, then indirect motivation boosters may be a good option for them. If your child or teen has difficulty waiting for a reward, or if they would like to give themselves a reward right after completing a difficult task, then direct motivation boosters may be a better option. Regardless of what you decide to do, make sure to be consistent, set clear expectations for your child, and follow through with your plan.