Everyone deserves kindness and respect, but sometimes people treat others unfairly. You may have had others treat you poorly throughout your life, and maybe you felt helpless when it happened. Thankfully, there are ways to handle bullying if it does happen to you. You can view a PDF version or read about ways to handle bullying below:
- Don't give them what they want. If someone is bullying you, it says much more about them than it does about you. When bullies say mean things to people, they are hoping for them to have a big reaction (such as becoming angry, upset, or emotional). When you ignore a bully, they are more likely to stop bothering you since you are not giving them the reaction they are looking for. Even if you do feel hurt by the bullying, it’s best to make sure the bully thinks it’s not a big deal to you. If someone is saying nasty things about you online, or sending you hurtful messages, they will be more likely to quit if you do not respond to them.
- Practice responding to bullies. Think of a go-to thing to say or do when someone is bullying you. That way, you can practice responding unemotionally. If a bully is trying to make fun of you by saying something mean, you can say something like “Haha, very funny” sarcastically and walk away. It can be hard to think of what to say in the moment when someone is picking on you, so finding things to say ahead of time can be helpful.
- Talk to someone about it. You don’t have to go through this alone or keep your feelings to yourself. If someone is bullying you, you can talk to a friend, sibling, parent, teacher, or anyone else who you trust and who will be there for you.
- Think about the things you like about yourself. It is normal to feel hurt when someone is mean to you. Sometimes, you may even believe the hurtful things someone says about you. It can be helpful to remind yourself of your strengths and of all the things you like about yourself. If you have a friend, teacher, or family member who appreciates you and who understands that you are amazing, think about what they would say about you. What would they have to say about your bullies' comments? The people who care about you are the people who matter. They are the ones you should listen to, not your bullies.
- Get adults you trust involved when bullies go too far. Everyone gets teased or picked on at some point, and it is important to figure out how to help yourself feel better when that happens. But if someone is picking on you constantly, physically hurting you, or forcing you to do things you do not want to do (like doing their homework or taking your stuff), it is important to get adults you trust involved to help.
- Spend time in safe spaces and with good people. Find places where you feel safe and happy and find people you like spending time with. If there are certain places where you get bullied a lot, try to stay away from those places. These could be real spaces, or virtual spaces- like a lunch table where you get picked on, or a social media site where people bully you. This is an example of a time when avoidance is helpful and necessary to keep you safe and well. Try to spend more time in places where people share your interests and where people treat you well.