If your child is having trouble completing their plan of action, ask yourself the following questions and reevaluate their plan:
Your child’s goal should be practical. Make sure it corresponds to the anxiety that the plan of action is for and make sure it represents that your child has overcome this anxiety. Goals should be achievable, measurable, and specific enough for you and your child to know once the goal has been accomplished.
If you find that the activities in the plan are too much of a hassle to complete, think about modifying them to make them more doable. For example, if you want your child to practice petting a dog, but the only dogs you know live 15 miles away, consider going on a walk or sitting on a bench outside if you live in a neighborhood with many dog owners – chances are you will encounter a dog! You can also look at pictures of dogs or watch videos of dogs on the Internet. You can also review these tips for coming up with activities again!
Make sure your child engages in their plan of action on a regular basis. At minimum, practices should occur multiple times per week. It will be easier to stick to a schedule if you plan it out beforehand using a calendar or our Weekly Practice Plan worksheet.
Make sure the first activity is slightly challenging but definitely doable for your child. This will give them confidence in their ability to practice future activities. Experiencing success should motivate your child to keep facing more difficult activities!
It’s important to be flexible in this process. It is rare that you will execute a plan from start to finish exactly as you planned. Some activities will likely end up being easier or harder than you or your child expected, so it is important to adjust the plan as needed.
For an activity to be effective, your child should not leave the feared situation too soon. If the activity has no clear end point, your child should stay in the situation until their anxiety level has decreased by about half.
If your child is struggling to get through a practice, they may not feel that the reward is worth the effort. Check in with your child to see if they feel motivated and supported.
Consistency is key when you are working on a plan of action. Ensure you are making a schedule, setting expectations, and sticking to the plan. If you find yourself not being consistent, ask yourself why. Adding reminders to your personal or family calendar could help you stick to your plan. Asking another parent or friend for support might also help you be more consistent – they might be able to act as an accountability buddy or take on other responsibilities that allow you to spend more time helping your child.
What if my child is resistant to move on to the next activity?
If your child is especially resistant to completing their next activity, consider the following:
- Brainstorm easier activities or extra activities for them to practice in the meantime, especially if you think their next activity is too big of a jump. This could even be a slight variation of the activity (for example, the same situation but in a different setting, with a different person, or at a different time of the day)
- Remind your child about their motivation boosters
- Brainstorm more motivating rewards if needed for more challenging activities
- Make sure your child has the skills they need to complete the activity. If your child does not have the skills they need (for instance, social skills), teach and practice these skills beforehand. We will discuss social skills in greater detail in a later module!
What if my child is not making any progress?
Some kids will make gains more slowly and will need to keep practicing longer than others. If you’ve reevaluated your plan and your child is still not progressing quickly, try not to get discouraged! Your child may simply need more practice and more time. Your child may have been avoiding their fear for several months or years, so it makes sense that breaking this pattern would take lots of time and effort. Try your best to be patient and know that the techniques we are teaching in this program have been shown to work. Look out for the small victories – over time, they will add up!
Moving Forward
Your child should continue working on their plan of action during the next few weeks of LUNA. You and your child should focus on breaking avoidance patterns, building habits of facing fears, and accomplishing goals.