First, let’s learn 2 examples of coping skills. These skills can help with the physical components of anxiety (e.g., racing heart) as well as the cognitive component (e.g., worrying too much about the future).
The goal is not to get rid of anxiety – this would be impossible! Instead, the goal is to make anxiety more manageable so that your child can accomplish their life goals.
The two skills that we will learn are deep breathing and 5-4-3-2-1 grounding.
Deep Breathing
The first coping skills we will teach you is called deep breathing. Deep breathing is a great skill to learn because it can be practiced anywhere and at any time! When we feel anxious, our body activates the “fight or flight” system, speeding up our heart rate and breathing rate in order to get more oxygen in our body and prepare us to flee or fight (even when we are not in immediate physical danger).
Deep breathing works by purposely focusing on your breath and slowing it down. When we take deep breaths, we activate the part of the brain that helps calm us down (parasympathetic nervous system) making us feel relaxed.
There are several ways in which you can practice deep breathing, but for LUNA, we will present two ways to practice deep breathing, and your child can pick their favorite to practice. The child/teen materials will have videos to guide your child through deep breathing.
For both exercises, it is best if your child breathes with their diaphragm (into their stomach) as opposed to their upper chest.
Here are the scripts that you can use when you practice deep breathing skills.
- Have your child lie down OR sit upright in a chair with their feet flat and uncrossed on the floor. We want your child to breathe into their stomach as supposed to their chest, and younger children naturally breathe into their stomach when lying down.
- Ask your child to close their eyes OR focus on a spot on the wall
- Ask your child to place both hands on their stomach. If your child is younger, you can also ask them to place their favorite toy or stuffed animal on their belly so that as they breathe they can take the toy on a ride by making them go up and down.
- Follow this script:
"Place both hands on your stomach. Now, breathe in and fill up your belly with air as if it were a balloon ...1 ...2 ...3. Now breathe out and try to deflate the balloon all the way ...1 ...2 ...3. Breathe in again ...1 ...2 ...3. Now breathe out ...1 ...2 ...3."
Do this for 10 breaths or until your child feels calmer (this takes longer than you would think, but please trust us - it helps!)
- For this activity, you will ask your child to imagine that they are holding a mug of hot chocolate. If this is too difficult for them, you can do one of the following:
- Print out an image of a mug of hot chocolate
- If you do not have access to aprinter, draw an image of a mug of hot chocolate
- Use a real mug of hot chocolate or tea
- Have your child sit upright in a chair with their feet flat and uncrossed on the floor OR stand up.
- Follow this script:
"Pretend that you are holding a mug of hot chocolate. The cup feels warm in your hands, and the scent of chocolate is travelling into your nose. Now, take a deep breath through your nose and try to smell that chocolate...1 ...2 ...3. Now breathe out through your mouth like you are blowing on the hot chocolate to cool it down ...1 ...2 ...3. Breathe in again ...1 ...2 ...3. Now breathe out ...1 ...2 ...3."
Do this for 10 breaths or until your child feels calmer (this takes longer than you would think, but please trust us - it helps!)
Mindfulness with 5-4-3-2-1 Grounding
“Mindfulness” is often defined as “non-judgmental, present-moment awareness,” and is a great way to cope with anxiety. When we are anxious, our minds are on the future, rather than the present, and we make judgments about what could happen (i.e., something bad will happen). When we are really connected to the present, we have more control over our actions and thoughts, making it harder to be anxious, which is exactly what we are preparing for in the next weeks!
There are lots of great exercises that help kids become more aware of the present moment. These exercises are often called “grounding” or “mindfulness” exercises. We have chosen to teach one here, which is called “5-4-3-2-1.” In this exercise, your child will use all their senses to notice their surroundings.
This a worksheet for you and your child to use:
Instructions: This worksheet is for you. Pay attention to things around you using all five of your senses. Write them down here with your parent:
- 5 things you can see (for example, things in your room, a computer screen)
- 4 things you can touch (for example, your clothes, your shoes, your fingers, the floor)
- 3 things you can hear (for example, someone talking in the house or the wind outside). If you cannot hear three things, take a walk and find them!
- 2 things you can smell (for example, food or your clothing). You can move around for this one too if you have trouble finding things. The kitchen usually has lots of things to smell!
- 1 thing you can taste (for example, something you ate or drankearlier). If you can’t taste anything just notice how that is too