Sex surrogates are also referred to as surrogate partners. These individuals are trained in addressing issues of intimacy and sexuality.1 Sex surrogates will typically help clients with sex education and sometimes will engage in intimate physical relations or sex, based upon the client's therapeutic goal. Sex surrogates focus on helping the client to build social and physical self-awareness and skills in physical and emotional intimacy.3 The surrogacy relationship is not necessarily focused on sexual touch, sexual stimulation, or sexual satisfaction; many also collaborate with a client's therapist to meet the goals set forth by the client, which is considered surrogate partner therapy.
Surrogate partner therapy is usually a three-person therapeutic team consisting of a client, therapist, and surrogate partner.
The surrogate may participate with the client in structured and unstructured experiences that are specifically designed to help the client build self-awareness skills and skills with physical and emotional intimacy.
Surrogate partner therapy experiences include but are not limited to relaxation techniques, effective communication, sensual touching, sexual touching, and social skills specific to people with disabilities.
Open and honest communication is essential for all members of the therapy team.1
People with disabilities are often denied their sexuality.2 For generations society has portrayed or considered disabled women to be asexual or not worthy of sexual interactions. As a result, many women with disabilities have had to find ways to please themselves sexually.2 Some women with disabilities have found using a sex surrogate to be helpful in learning about and experiencing comfortable ways to experience sex. Women with disabilities often encounter barriers that interfere with their ability to explore sexual desires. With the help of the sex surrogate, the barriers can be removed, allowing for women with disabilities to better understand and explore the process of fulfilling their sexual desires.2
Many individuals could benefit from surrogacy partner therapy. Unfortunately, most insurance policies do not cover surrogacy partner therapy, leaving the individual to pay for the out-of-pocket expense that may run anywhere from $75-$150 per hour.3 The cost of using a surrogate partner varies depending on the surrogate’s level of experience and geographic location as well as the format of the therapy.
Resources
Baume, M. (2013, July 05). Disabled people say they, too, want a sex life, and seek help in attaining it. Accessed December 13, 2021.
Bonnie, S. (2004). Disabling Barriers Enabling Environments, Vol. 19, pp. 124–132. Sage Publications Limited, London.
Castleman, M. (2019, June 15). Disabled? You can still enjoy satisfying Sex. Accessed December 13, 2021 Accessed December 13, 2021.
Film: 2012 – The Sessions Trailer
- Shapiro L. The disabled sexual surrogate. Reproductive Health Matters. 2017;25(50):134–137.
- Fritsch K, Heynen R, Ross A, Van der Meulen E. Disability and sex work: developing affinities through decriminalization. Disability & Society. 2016;31(1):84-99.
- International Professional Surrogates Association. Surrogate Partner Therapy. 2020. Accessed December 13, 2021.