A child's eye view of nursing home visit

By Dana Benson

Visiting an elderly, sick parent can stir up a range of emotions. One of those is stress. Bringing your children with you on the visit can amplify that feeling, especially when your parent is in a nursing home.

There are many concerns when visiting a nursing home with a child. Will it upset or scare my child? Will she misbehave or be disruptive? Will my child and my parent be able to interact meaningfully?

Some of these issues can be dealt with before the visit. Explain to the child what she might expect to see in general at a nursing home. The people there are old, frail and sickly; they may be unresponsive or may not make sense; there may be odd smells and sounds. She should know that her visit to a nursing home might be a little unsettling, and that it's okay to feel that way.

Also talk to the child specifically about her grandparent's condition. If grandpa has a disease, explain in general terms what it is. Expect the child to have lots of questions, and encourage her to ask them, but at the appropriate time.

And while the hope is that children will bond with their grandparent, the truth is they may be bored at a nursing home. Bring along an activity that will allow for interaction between the generations – like a deck of cards or a photo album for everyone to look at. But bring along age appropriate activities for the child too.

Open communication and reasonable expectations should help to reduce stress and allow for the best visit possible.