Readjust reality to deal with holiday stress

By Dana Benson

Now is the time of year when people start dealing with holiday stress. Even though countless newspaper articles and morning show segments will offer tips on how to avoid it, the stress of the season is about as inevitable as a green bean casserole at Thanksgiving or opening a beautifully wrapped present only to find a sweater you’ll never wear.

Reality check

Why do we let the stress get to us? We all know what we’re supposed to do to avoid it. Plan ahead, make a budget, don’t overschedule. Make time for ourselves, don’t drink too much, keep exercising.

Maybe it’s time for a reality check – time to face the fact that your family looks less like a Hallmark card and more like the dysfunctional one Robert Earl Keen sings about in his version of a Christmas carol, “Merry Christmas from the Family.”

Embrace idiosyncrasies

Embrace the imperfections that make you and your family unique. This year, I’m going to tell my mom not to stress about her holiday cards. So what if they arrive after New Year’s? You know what? I kind of like it. Just when you think the holidays are over, a little reminder of the season comes in the mail.

Is it really that big of a deal that my sister and I mess up her mother-in-law’s cornbread stuffing recipe pretty much every Thanksgiving? At least we’re all together as a family and we’re healthy enough to sit down for a meal.

Will my daughter even know if I spend less on her this year at the holidays? I’m pretty sure spending time with her cousins is better than any present she’ll get anyway.

Don’t strive for perfection

Much of the stress we put on ourselves over the next six weeks or so is due to our own internal pressure. No one expects us to be perfect, so we shouldn’t expect that of ourselves either. Perhaps getting past that self-expectation of perfection is what will finally make the stress go away and allow us to enjoy ourselves and our loved ones.